Germany and Cirebonese have their
own etiquette. Are they the same? If so, what is the similarity? Or they are very
different? Then what is the dissimilarity? "Nothing is less important
than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces
everything. It is ethics. It is honor."Emily Post
Meeting etiquette, in German, greetings
are formal. A quick, firm handshake is the traditional greeting. Titles are
very important and denote respect. Use a person's title and their surname until
invited to use their first name. we should say Herr or Frau and the person's
title and their surname. In general, wait for host or hostess to introduce us
to a group. When entering a room, shake hands with everyone individually,
including children. In Cirebon, greetings are formal too. The younger kiss the
older right back of hand. The younger call ‘aang’ for the older brother and
‘yayu’ for the older sister. ‘mama’ for daddy and ‘mimi’ for mom. ‘kacung’ for little
brother and ‘nok’ for the little sister. Cirebonese is not accustomed to call
the surname; they call the first name directly. For example we call the little sister;
her name is Rifqoh Aulia with ‘nok rifqoh’ or ‘nok iqoh’. We call the older brother;
his name is Luckee Adhock with ‘aang Lukee’ or ‘ang Luk’
Dining Etiquette, if
we are invited to a German's house, we should arrive on time as
punctuality indicates proper planning. Never arrive early. Never arrive more
than 15 minutes later than invited without telephoning to explain you have been
detained. Send a handwritten thank you note the following day to thank
your hostess for her hospitality. In other hand if we are invited to a
Cirebonese house, we should arrive in time in order respect the host or
hostess. It’s not good if we come too late, Cirebon people can forgive if
delayed for about five until ten minutes although without telephoning
beforehand.
Gift Giving Etiquette, if we are
invited to a German's house; bring a gift such as chocolates or flowers. Yellow
roses or tea roses are always well received. Do not give red roses as they
symbolize romantic intentions. Do not give carnations as they symbolize
mourning. Do not give lilies or chrysanthemums as they are used at funerals. If
you bring wine, it should be imported, French or Italian. Giving German wines
is viewed as meaning you do not think the host will serve a good quality wine.
Gifts are usually opened when received. Well, Cirebonese never thinks about gift when they invite someone to
come to their house. If so, we should bring nothing but courtesy. For Cirebon
people, courtesy is more important than the gift. It is gift of the gifts.
Germany
don’t like talk about religion, avoid it. In other hand, Cirebon people is most
well-known as a religion society. They love to talk about mosque, wali songo
‘the nine of priests’, prayer, marhabanan ‘praising the Prophet’, qosidahan
‘sing Islamic song’, and so on. Sometimes we use them as utterance to know each
other, to make a close relationship.
It is
absolutely normal to have a different view in German, usually they are
interested in our point of view and the reason how we came to our statement,
they are interested in different point of vieaws and consider them. If they do not agree with
you: this is not personal! You can be a hard core conservative and discuss with
a left leaning liberal and have a beer after it. In other side, Cirebon people avoid conflict of
different point of view. The younger should agree of the point of view of the
older. It is the rule of politeness.
So, German and Cirebon
have the differences and similarities depend on the point of each general topic
of living. Germany has etiquettes as well as
Cirebonese.
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